When we talked I felt like I was talking with myself. It was like she was just another part of me, a part that had been missing and I had been lucky enough to find. When her mother and step father decided to move to Oshkosh on the theory that there would less for her two brothers to steal in a small town there wasn’t a question in our minds that we would continue to be together. There are things about Carol I can barely remember and others that remain lodged in my memory like a bad tattoo. These thoughts continue to bob to the surface of my consciousness sometimes like the taste of a sweet summer night, sometimes like a bloated corpse surfacing after years of putrefaction in the cold depths of my subconscious. When she moved along with her family we were true to our word, our vow…our love. We wrote each other on a daily basis, not just love letters, but a continuation of the dialogue we had started the first night we were together and now found it impossible to live without. We wrote. ‘Jane, let’s run away together!’ he whispered. ‘Darling, if only you meant it, but we both know better, don’t we’, I answered calmly. He smiled at me then. I hated that smile that cynically gave me confirmation of what I would have preferred to be a wrong assumption. ‘Let me enjoy you then, while you are here’ he offered. We returned to my hotel room. Patiently, he started to undress me. I was standing at the bottom of the bed. I let him do, without moving. He unbuttoned my shirt. His eyes were shining with impatience. His hands gripped my shoulders, caressing down my arms, and my waist. Suddenly, he turned me around, unzipped my skirt, and pushed it at my feet. I could now feel his hands cupping my ass, and then going up my back, in a firm massage. I felt him approach me from behind, the warmth emanated from his body. One hand reached to my throat and caressed it, gently pressing on it. I gasped. While I was facing the wall, Julian was slowly taking possession of me. He was still.
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